AMAZIN' AMAZON

ELF - Hey Boss, we have way too many presents and not enough time to deliver them to all the children in the world! What can we do???

SANTA - Use Amazon.com. I believe their drones deliver at very short notice. Matter solved. 

GOOD GRAVY!

COMMON MAN  - Eeeeek! Look at all that blood. I've lost my appetite for dinner tonight!

THE DOCTOR - Eeek! Look at that gravy. How will I be able to perform the surgery later??

FAIRY TRAILS

HUMAN - So Hansel and Gretel left a trail of bread crumbs in the forest. When they woke up in the morning, the birds had eaten them and they couldn't find their way back home...

WARP - Hansel and Gretel should have been snails. No bird would ever bother eating a slime trail!

RIDDLE ME SOME OF THIS

Sigh. I know I should be rescuing those people by solving this riddle.
Yet, all I can think of right now is how much that Question Mark resembles an upside down Kim Kardashian!

PACE GRACE

COACH - C'mon faster, faster! You're training at snail's pace!
WARP - I'm flattered if he thinks that that is my pace!

CLUB DRUB

WIFE - I sure have gained a lot of weight in the last few months!

HUSBAND - Join the club...

WIFE - What are you talking about?? YOU haven't gained any weight at all!

HUSBAND - You're right, I haven't. I was asking you to join the health club to lose weight!

WET Met

So after viewing weather conditions today, the Met Department has predicted that monsoon shall arrive in two days' time....