Monday, December 16, 2013

SIGN OF THE CRIMES



That billboard is useless! I tried to follow all those rules, but got knocked down by some idiot who chose to ignore it. He got away and look to me!!

Monday, December 9, 2013

CONG-STRESS



Sir, could you kindly turn off that song?? Sonia madam insists that she doesn't want anything to do with the letters A-A-P anywhere around her!!

Sunday, December 8, 2013

THE ANIMAL SONG

He listens to all those artists with absurd names like 'Snoop Dogg', 'Pussycat dolls' and 'Pitbull', but when I call him a 'dirty pig' and ask him to clean his room, he gets highly offended!

Tuesday, November 26, 2013

BEE-WARE!


     Now here's one 'Sting operation' that will NOT make headlines in tomorrow's newspaper!

Sunday, November 17, 2013

SACH-IIIN SACH-OUT


It started as a peaceful discussion on cricket over the years. It then turned into an argument once they had to decide whose generation Sachin Tendulkar belongs to !!

Sunday, November 10, 2013

LAST MAN STANDING


Oh, there's nothing wrong with my legs! All the other seats were taken in this waiting room, so I had nowhere else to sit!

Tuesday, November 5, 2013

IF FOODS COULD KILL



Sssh... don't disturb your father. He's reading about the Snail Holocaust!

Friday, November 1, 2013

HAPPY DEVIL-LI !


With Halloween and Diwali so close to each other this year, it has obviously caused some confusion amongst the NRI's living in our city!

Sunday, October 20, 2013

I-SHAN'T SHEAR-MA HAIR!


Ishant refuses to cut his hair and it keeps hampering his bowling. So coach sir has come up with an appropriate solution!

Monday, October 14, 2013

IL'LUSTROUS' CAREER



Cancel that super model's contract. I want that singer to be the new face of our shampoo brand. I want him just the way he is on the billboards as well as the TV ads!!

Monday, October 7, 2013

SEQUEN-SHELL


BIRD - Wow, Hollywood's releasing a Fast and Furious movie part 7! I bet they're making these films faster than you snails can even watch them, eh? He he he....
BIRD THINKS - Sheesh... these snails are slow even in getting the joke!

Sunday, September 22, 2013

METAL DETEST-OR


Its okay, let her go. Forget carrying any metal on her person, I doubt she even has enough Iron in her blood!

Monday, September 16, 2013

MODAK MOMENT



I better enjoy the Modak this year. It'll probably be Modi next year, for all I know!

Sunday, September 15, 2013

DUE FOR ICU


DEPUTY - Sir, here are those fellows booked for repeated rash driving and going over the speed limit. I've asked them to assemble here like you'd asked.

POLICE CHIEF - Good. Kindly ask them to go to the Government Hospital. They're in desperate need of Ambulance drivers!

Sunday, September 8, 2013

WE ARE THE TRAMP-IONS


Dude, help!!! I've been jumping on this stupid trampoline for an hour!! I just don't know how to get off it!

Wednesday, September 4, 2013

INFLUEN-SHELL


That reckless fellow is trying out those dangerously fast roller skates again! He's such a bad influence on our kids!!

Sunday, August 25, 2013

GRADE UPGRADE


So, not only is that the grade you have scored in this exam, it is also a 'subtle' hint as to what might be the reason for this terrible performance!

Sunday, August 18, 2013

POSE TO REPOSE

How is it that we spend a fortune on a really expensive bed, luxurious mattress and custom-made pillows and yet it is our dog who manages to get the best sleep in what looks like the most uncomfortable position ever??

Monday, August 5, 2013

BEAUTY IS SHELL DEEP

Human - Good grief, listen to this! Apparently Japan has introduced a snail facial where live snails are made to crawl on a person's face. I wonder what they will think of next???
Warp - Ewwww! Did you hear that?? Imagine having to crawl on a live human's face!!

Saturday, July 27, 2013

FOOD FOR NOUGHT

I wonder why the 'Below Poverty Line' daily expenditure has been raised to Rs. 33 from Rs. 31. Could it be  because they don't care to include the free Midday Meal scheme in it anymore??

Monday, July 22, 2013

SLOW BEAU


He's taken to working out these days. His girl's interest in Turbo is making him insecure!

Sunday, July 14, 2013

GENRE CORNER


That's it! I'm going back to making violent war movies. I made one film on cute babies and puppies and
these Human and Animal Rights Activists have been tormenting me ever since!!

Monday, July 8, 2013

ACHES AND CLAIMS


Will you look at this?? Your son will run 21 km marathons with great ease, but every time I ask him to
go downstairs to buy some milk, he claims his legs are paining too much!!

Monday, July 1, 2013

THE BARE TRUTH

What do you mean "indecent exposure" ?? I'm a Slug... I've never had a shell!!

Monday, June 17, 2013

FARTHER DAY


                     No, no ! That's not who you wish on Father's Day!!

Monday, June 10, 2013

CRICK-EKE OUT A LIVING

My son has started showing interest in wanting to become a cricketer. I'm worried... its just not a straightforward profession these days!

Tuesday, June 4, 2013

CURVE-RT


SNAIL - Hmmm... Dangerous curves ahead...
WARP - You scoundrel! How dare you talk about my wife's shell that way!!

Sunday, May 26, 2013

TOWEL TROUBLE

He's too scared to use a towel after the whole spot-fixing scandal broke out...!

Sunday, May 19, 2013

TRAFFIC SIG-NULL

What do you mean you didn't see the traffic signal?? It's right there in plain sight, between those billboards!!

Sunday, May 12, 2013

PSY-TRY

No,No... I was talking about "Bank Num." , NOT Gangnam! Stop doing that!!

Thursday, May 9, 2013

ACCELER-AID



Human - These new shoes sure help me run faster!
Warp - Did you hear that?? We have got to get ourselves a pair of those!!

Sunday, April 28, 2013

ENCORE, BRAVO!

One of the cheerleaders got exhausted from all the dancing. So, they have replaced her temporarily with
Dwayne Bravo!

Sunday, April 21, 2013

CHANGING TIMES, CHANGING CRIMES

Things are different now, Grandpa. Earlier, youngsters used to get influenced by violence in movies. Today, all the movies are taking inspiration from the violence committed in real life!

Sunday, April 14, 2013

SPY-DER CAMERA!



          That's yet another batsman to get startled by the spider camera!

Monday, March 4, 2013

STAIR DESPAIR



HUMAN - Lets take the stairs... It'll get us down there faster.

WARP - Poor fools... Those stairs are useless. I tried them last week and it took me the same amount of time to reach down there!

Sunday, February 24, 2013

MARA-TORN


What nonsense! How can the lift be out of order today, of all days! Do they expect me to climb down 4 storeys and THEN run a full marathon??!

Tuesday, February 19, 2013

PARENTAL GUIDANCE

Times have changed, dude. Both my parents are now active on Facebook. So, I have deleted my account - not because I'm scared they'll follow my posts but because I'm scared to read theirs!!

Sunday, February 10, 2013

TERMINAL TERMINATE


ASSISTANT - Sir, why don't we invite the Vice President from New Delhi for the re-opening of our newly renovated airport?
POLITICIAN - If the airport hasn't opened yet, then where do you expect his plane to land?? 

Monday, February 4, 2013

BEAUTY IS ONLY SHELL DEEP

Better watch out, bro. I know those signs... My wife read one of those posters too and all she wants is
plastic surgery since then!!

Sunday, January 6, 2013

ONCE UPON A CRIME


Boy 1 - I'm sick this news on violent crimes in our country!! Lets watch something else for a change. Why don't you pick a nice DVD?

Boy 2 - Good idea! What do you want to watch - 300, I know what you did last summer, the Saw series or The silence of the lambs??