KILT JILT

Look dear - they wear full-length ones here in hot and humid South India, unlike the knee-length ones back in our cold Scotland. Strange, isnt it?!

NO NEWS IS TRUE NEWS

Mom's fed up of these newspapers trying to compete with each other... So, she's gone back to getting her updates by gossiping with our neighbour!

MINI-METRES

My boys, in my day life was all in metres per hour... Today, things have picked up so much of pace, its all in metres per second!!

RACIAL SLUR-P

SERVER - Would you like your coffee black or white, ma'am ?

CUSTOMER - Whatever dude, I'm no racist!

''HUE'' AND CRY

What do you mean you think 'the referee maybe colourblind' ?! "

OS-STRETCH

He's checking to see if RedBull will really give him wings!

DAWNING DUSK

WARP : I'm glad we managed to make it for the last sunset of 2011...

SNAIL : Yeah...

BIRD : You're too late...This is the sunrise!