PORN SHORN

Yes, yes, I'm no doubt relieved that there's no danger of my adolescent son accessing porn on the internet thanks to the ban.
However, I now need to worry about keeping him away from the newspapers as they are full of porn-related articles!

SHADY DEALINGS

I heard those students talking about meeting a 'dealer' right outside the campus gates. Let's go catch them before they buy any drugs!

Sorry boys, this is my last Maggi packet and demand is high. You better pay the price I'm quoting or you get nothing!

LEAD INSTEAD

Oh no, I  have to enter the Radiation Lab and forgot to bring my protective Lead suit!

Maybe you could try shielding yourself with a few packets of Maggi noodles, considering they are supposed to be full of ' you know what' !

AMAZIN' AMAZON

ELF - Hey Boss, we have way too many presents and not enough time to deliver them to all the children in the world! What can we do???

SANTA - Use Amazon.com. I believe their drones deliver at very short notice. Matter solved. 

GOOD GRAVY!

COMMON MAN  - Eeeeek! Look at all that blood. I've lost my appetite for dinner tonight!

THE DOCTOR - Eeek! Look at that gravy. How will I be able to perform the surgery later??

FAIRY TRAILS

HUMAN - So Hansel and Gretel left a trail of bread crumbs in the forest. When they woke up in the morning, the birds had eaten them and they couldn't find their way back home...

WARP - Hansel and Gretel should have been snails. No bird would ever bother eating a slime trail!

RIDDLE ME SOME OF THIS

Sigh. I know I should be rescuing those people by solving this riddle.
Yet, all I can think of right now is how much that Question Mark resembles an upside down Kim Kardashian!